My wife and I are always looking for ways to teach our children about responsibility, character-building, and the value of hard work. We both grew up working at early ages: Kelly in a movie theater, and myself in sport training (soccer and swimming). One effective way to instill these qualities is by assigning chores to your kids. Not only do chores teach important life skills, but they also create opportunities for bonding and personal growth.
So, let’s explore the benefits of making kids do chores, reviewing the appropriate age to start assigning different tasks, and I’ll try to provide a list of ideas for different age-appropriate chores.
Is it Fair to Make Kids do Chores?
Some parents may question the fairness of making their kids do chores, believing that childhood should be a time of carefree play rather than responsibility. However, assigning chores is not about burdening children with adult tasks. It IS about providing them with valuable life lessons and setting them up for success when they are no longer carefree children. Chores teach kids about accountability, teamwork, and the satisfaction of contributing to the family unit. By involving children in household tasks, you are teaching them skills they will carry with them into adulthood, preparing them for independence and success. They see you doing the tasks anyway, so why not show them how to do them too. I promise you, they want to help!
What Age Should Kids Be Given Chores?
The appropriate age to start assigning chores to children may vary depending on their individual capabilities and maturity. However, even young children can participate in age-appropriate tasks that contribute to the overall functioning of the household.
Toddlers as young as two or three can be encouraged to clean up their toys or help with simple tasks like filling a pet’s water bowl. You, as the parent, will do the majority of the work at this age. Your child will give up quickly on any task taking more than a few minutes. However, the fact that the child has ‘helped’ teaches them valuable skills and lessons. Plus, it prepares them for next steps.
As children grow older, they can take on more responsibility and engage in chores that align with their age and abilities, and chores which they can do independently.
Age-Appropriate Chores for Kids
Assigning age-appropriate chores to children allows them to develop important skills while also feeling a sense of accomplishment. Here are some ideas for chores that kids can do at different stages of their development:
Toddlers (2-3 years)
- Cleaning up toys after playtime
- Putting dirty clothes in the hamper/washing machine
- Helping to set the table (with supervision)
- Assisting with simple tasks in the kitchen, such as stirring ingredients or loading their plastic plates and cutlery into the dishwasher
Preschoolers (4-5 years)
- Making their bed
- Clearing the table after meals
- Sorting laundry into different piles
- Watering plants or helping with light gardening tasks
- Feeding pets
School-age Children (6-11 years)
- Dusting furniture
- Sweeping or vacuuming floors
- Folding laundry
- Taking care of pets, such as feeding and grooming
- Emptying the bins
- Put away groceries
- Feed and groom pets
Teenagers (12-18 years)
- Cleaning bathrooms
- Cooking simple meals
- Mowing the lawn
- Washing the car
- Picking up items like bread and milk from the local shop
- Changing bed sheets
Chores I’ve Assigned My Kids
My boys ages range (rounding for birthdays): 8,6,and 4 years old. We have kept chores simple, but also involve the boys in our own chores. For example:
Billy must do the following routine every morning before watching TV:
1) Get Changed
2) Make his bed the best he can (car beds against the wall can be tough)
3) Do morning work (A homework sheet or letter to mom)
4) Feed Freddie (Morning)
Ben must do the following:
1) Get changed
2) Make his bed and clean up his stuffies
3) Do his morning work
4) Feed Freddie (Evening)
Charlie
1) Get changed
However, we involve the boys when we can with things like washing the car, mopping the floor (for some reason this is a fan favorite), and setting the table (sometimes). As they get older, we add on more, and make the previous responsibilities more independent. Kelly and I have different mindsets a little bit. She may be guilty of overly helping the boys with the chores, and for good reason: We will be late for something, etc. However, I will leave the kids to do the work and they will handle the consequences: being late, not enough time for movie night, etc. So the two of us end up stepping on each others toes sometimes here. That’s ok as long as you communicate about the larger familial needs before or after and reset.
The Benefits of Chores for Kids
Assigning chores to children offers numerous benefits that go beyond simply getting the housework done. Here are some reasons why making kids do chores is advantageous:
Building Life Skills
Chores provide an opportunity for children to learn essential life skills. Tasks like cooking, cleaning, and organizing teach children how to take care of themselves and their environment. These skills are not often taught in schools, making it crucial for parents to instill them at home.
Teaching Responsibility and Self-Reliance
Assigning regular chores to children instills a sense of responsibility. When kids understand that their contributions directly impact the well-being of the family, they develop a sense of ownership and self-reliance. By completing their assigned tasks, children learn that they play an important role in the household.
Teamwork
Chores provide an opportunity for children to learn about teamwork and cooperation. Being part of a family unit means working together towards a common goal. By participating in household tasks, kids learn to collaborate, communicate, and contribute to the overall functioning of the family.
Reinforcing Respect
Assigning age-appropriate chores helps children develop respect for their surroundings and the efforts of others. When kids are responsible for cleaning up after themselves, they become more aware of the messes they create and the work required to maintain a clean and organized environment. We struggle with this daily, but every once in a while, I see it working, so we stick at it!
Developing a Strong Work Ethic
Engaging in chores from a young age helps children develop a strong work ethic. By completing tasks and receiving recognition or rewards, kids learn the value of hard work and perseverance. This work ethic can translate into academic success and future career achievements.
Improving Planning and Time Management Skills
Juggling schoolwork, extracurricular activities, and chores helps children develop valuable planning and time management skills. By learning to prioritize and allocate their time effectively, kids gain valuable skills that will benefit them throughout their lives.
Creating Bonding Opportunities
Age-appropriate chores provide an opportunity for parents and children to bond. Working together on tasks can foster open communication, shared experiences, and a sense of accomplishment. Chores can become moments of connection and quality time, strengthening the parent-child relationship.
Should You Pay an Allowance to Do Chores?
Paying children to do chores is a topic that has sparked debate among parents and experts. While some argue that it teaches children about the value of money and the concept of earning, others believe that it undermines the idea of contributing to the family and instilling a sense of responsibility. I’m honestly torn on it. We haven’t done it yet, but I do think there is some value in having fiscal responsibility. Anyway, here are some considerations I’ve gone over to keep in mind when deciding for yourself:
Pros of Paying Children for Chores:
- Financial Education: Paying children for chores can help them learn about money management, saving, and the value of earning. My son had a hard time when he got a bunch of money for a recent party. He thought we were stealing his money when we told him we were putting it in the bank.
- Motivation: It can serve as an incentive for children to complete their chores diligently and on time. It doesn’t hurt to have the kids asking to do chores instead of looking for ways out of them.
Cons of Paying Children for Chores:
- Family Contribution: Some believe that kid’s chores are a part of contributing to the family and should not be tied to monetary compensation. Being part of the family unit means giving it your time, and sometimes money. So paying to do family chores almost defeats the purpose.
- Sense of Responsibility: Paying kids to do chores might undermine the development of a sense of responsibility and accountability in children. Although nothing has really been proven on this one, it is possible.
Alternative Approaches:
- Kid’s Allowance: Providing children with a regular allowance not tied to specific chores. This can help them learn money management without directly linking it to household tasks. Maybe they get the allowance if they complete ALL the chores for the week, rather than a couple bucks for each chore. This is more closely related to getting a paycheck at work. You don’t get paid to write up a report, you get paid for the week or responsibilities you are assigned and complete.
- Rotating Chores: Implementing a system where each family member is responsible for different chores on a rotating basis can instill a sense of shared responsibility without monetary incentives.
Ultimately, whether to pay children for chores is a personal decision that varies from family to family. It’s important to consider the values and lessons you want to impart to your children while finding a balance between teaching financial responsibility and fostering a sense of contribution and accountability within the family. Honestly, I don’t have too many answers as I’m still tossed between both sides. In the meantime, my boys ARE participating in chores like loading the dishwasher, cleaning up toys, and putting dirty laundry in the laundry room.
Conclusion
Assigning age-appropriate chores to kids is not about burdening them with unnecessary responsibilities but rather about teaching them valuable life skills, fostering independence, and building character. By involving children in household tasks, parents provide them with opportunities for personal growth, teamwork, and a sense of accomplishment. So, embrace the idea of making your kids do chores, and watch them develop into responsible, capable, and confident individuals.
