Our love story began on the trails of Van Cortlandt Park, way back in October 2005. My wife and I were at a cross-country meet in the Bronx, NY, and while others may remember their first date as a candlelit dinner, ours was fueled by the adrenaline of competition and the camaraderie of a shared passion – and later, a night out a Chili’s. Little did we know then that running would become the cornerstone of not just our relationship, but our marriage.
The Start of Something Beautiful
Back then, running was more than just a hobby for me—it was a competition fueled by the will to run fast and win medals. For my wife, it was just another sport to fill out her fall season, something she participated in but didn’t necessarily live for. She was a diver, and a very good one. But the beauty of our relationship was that it grew from this shared activity. As we navigated the early stages of dating, running became our common ground, the thread that wove our different personalities together.
As Kelly began running more (in the times before GPS watches), I drew up maps for her, three-hole punched them, and put them in a binder. Each map offered different distances starting at or near her house. It was a small gift, but one that allowed us to keep running even when apart, creating a physical representation of something that helped keep us together.
Over the years, our love for running has mirrored the love we have for each other. From the nervous excitement of our engagement to the steady rhythm of married life with kids, running has always been there—a constant companion. It’s been a source of strength, a means of communication, and a way to reconnect when life gets chaotic.
Pushing Boundaries Together
As our relationship matured, so did our approach to running. We began pushing each other to go farther and faster. I nudged my wife to try her first 10K years ago. At the finish, she was happy to complete the 10k, but told me she would never do a half marathon—the idea seemed silly. But after I finished one, I encouraged her to try, and she did! After running the NYC Marathon in 2013, I told Kelly that one day she’d run a full marathon, and sure enough, she did the NYC in 2017! Most recently, after I completed a 52-mile escapade in 2023, Kelly decided she wanted to try, and we both took on a 50K ultramarathon together. Each race was not just a test of physical endurance but a testament to the resilience of our partnership.
Cheering each other on has become a metaphor for how we tackle life’s challenges together. She’s been my loudest supporter at my ultra-marathons, and I’ve been there at the finish line for her triathlons, each time holding a towel and water bottle with arms as wide as the finish tape, ready to give a huge hug. These experiences have taught us the importance of encouragement, patience, and the joy of seeing your partner achieve something extraordinary.
The Marriage Marathon
If there’s one thing that running has taught us, it’s the value of consistency and discipline—qualities that are just as essential in marriage. Training for a race requires commitment, even on the days when you’d rather hit the snooze button. Marriage, too, requires that same dedication, especially when life throws curveballs our way.
We’ve learned to pace ourselves, to listen to each other’s needs, and to push through the tough miles, knowing there’s a reward waiting at the end. Those days when I need to wake up and go to work, but really don’t want to, are tough, but I do it for my family. The days Kelly wakes up and feels it would be easier to go to work than to watch the kids or clean the house, but does it for our family. The resilience we’ve built on the road, track, and trail has carried over into our relationship, giving us the endurance to handle life’s ups and downs with grace.
Lessons for Life and Love
Running has taught us more than just physical endurance; it’s given us a blueprint for how to navigate life together. Just like in a race, there are moments when you feel like giving up, when the finish line seems too far away. But it’s in those moments that we lean on each other, drawing strength from our shared experiences and our unwavering belief that together, we can overcome anything.
For those reading this, I encourage you to find that “running” in your own relationship—the activity or passion that brings you closer together. Whether it’s hiking, cooking, or simply taking long walks, there’s something powerful about sharing a pursuit with your partner. It strengthens the bond, creates shared memories, and gives you a common goal to work towards.
As we celebrate our 11-year marriage anniversary, I’m filled with gratitude for the journey we’ve run together. It hasn’t always been easy, and there have been plenty of hills to climb, but every step has been worth it. Running has not only kept us physically fit but has also given us the emotional endurance to weather life’s challenges together. Here’s to many more miles, both on the road and in our life together.
